Welcome to The Museum of All Things Awesome and that Go Boom, housed in the half-kiloSmoot-square, two-centuries-old dancing building, the Old Ptolemy. We invite you to see our world-class collections!
Articles in the MATAGB Collection include artifacts, equipment, weapons, clothing, disguises, letters, taxidermied kills, holodeck simulators based on actual memories in amber, exotic life forms, artwork, vehicles, technologies, listening devices, and memorabilia and insignia designed, manufactured, or used by swashbucklers, pirates, ninjas, adventurers, privateers, spaceship commandos, illuminati, and intelligence organizations now and in the past.
When the people of Timeline B invaded Earth in 2085, the contents of various museums were smuggled off-planet. Many items1 were purchased by gigallionaire Mos Eisley. After his death in 2144, his collection was donated to an enduring trust created upon the event of his death, the Friends of All Things Awesome and that Go Boom, thereby creating the nucleus of MATAGB with some 3,500 items. The MATAGB was housed in Eisley’s home until 2155, when the Old Ptolemy was purchased by the Friends. The museum closed for almost a year and reopened on Landing Day, 2156 in its current location.
The MATAGB existed as a privately-owned museum from 2144 until 2238, when they were made a public entity by the Change Agents and absorbed the contents of the former Espionage Archives. The Archives were administered by Emperor Gently’s Center for the Study of Bravery until the 2238 Changeover; under his rule they held their 15,000 artifacts in trust for the Eridani people, but the Archives were not open to the public, and their collection was only seen in public exhibitions held in partnership with the National Permutation Museum.
The MATAGB permanent collection was maintained by the Change Agents for the duration of their brief reign, but became privately-owned again in 2249 with the Advent of the Dread Democracy, at which point the Friends were revived. Post-Advent, the museum has only closed for brief renovations, and has continuously worked to expand and deepen its collection.
1 In some cases, Timeline B artwork was brought to our timeline by the invaders after they won the Sidewise War, and consequently the provenance of a few pieces has been questioned; we note this whenever they appear.
The Old Ptolemy
The Old Ptolemy (then called simply the Ptolemy) was constructed in 2105, as the second of thirty-seven dancing buildings built by immigrants from the Boojumverse who settled in the area now known as Draconis after fleeing their own dimension to escape an outbreak of pneumatic vampire penguins in 2103. The first of the dancing buildings was destroyed in an unfortunate vaseline mishap in 2109 (the ruins can be seen at the corner of Oryx and Crake), making the Ptolemy the oldest of the surviving dancing buildings in our reality. Only nine dancing buildings still remain, and since the techniques for building them were lost when the Steamwork Consortium banned the practice in 2197, citing safety concerns, the building has become a United Federation of Planets Protected Area and has been placed on the Eridani Register of Historic Buildings.
The building is tethered to the corner of 38th and Spitzer. Entrances can be found on eleven of the twelve walls, with the sole exception being the short wall that connects the West Wing to the North Chronolith. Of course, because the building moves, the West Wing, North Chronolith, and Southeast Battlement will not always appear where their names suggest, though they do remain in roughly the same position relative to each other.
The building is located in the Obernewtyn neighborhood of Draconis, across the street from the Eisley Office Building (which houses the Eridani Art Gallery and the National Permutation Museum) and opposite Station Eleven (Sculpture Trail Courtyard) via the Blue, Mosaic and Headache portal lines.
Hours & Admission
Open 6 days a week:
|Serpens:||Closed, except by appointment.|
|Ran:||12+00:00 – 17+55:00|
|Tauday:||08+00:00 – 14+55:00|
|Aegirday:||12+00:00 – 17+55:00|
|Thor’s Day:||08+00:00 – 20+55:00|
|Kinday:||12+00:00 – 17+55:00|
|Seveneves:||12+00:00 – 14+55:00|
Closed Skullday, Wamp Day, Landing Day, and Freeday.
Certified Adventurers may visit at any time, by appointment only.
|Seniors (120 and older):||G17|
|Members (Join Now):||Free|
|Children under 12
(accompanied by an adult):
To help cover the costs of exhibitions, we request that you pay the full recommended amount. Your fee includes admission to the Main Building, West Wing, and same-day admission to the gardens. There is no extra charge for entrance to exhibitions or to the sculpture trail.
Advance reservations are required for adult and student groups of twelve or more, and for any third-party-guided tours, regardless of size.